Death, Joy & Jealousy? Part II
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12
This devotional is the second part of a series of weekly devotionals that are inspired by the faith and wisdom of my Grandmother Dorothy (“Nanny”) Bell. Nanny, more than anyone else, shaped my understanding of what a godly perspective of death can look like. If you missed last week’s offering, please check it our at: https://www.trentsidechurch.ca/about-us/blog/teach-us-to-number-our-days/
Part 2 — Death & Jealousy?
There is much a person can learn from another when they hear them speak or teach. However the greatest teaching, by far, takes place in the day to day observation of another. Shortly after my Papa died, my Nanny moved from her small Ottawa apartment to permanently live with our family. It was over the next decade, and during the most impressionable years of my life (roughly age 9 to 22) I had the fortune of observing and learning from this humble teacher.
Last week I acknowledged how Nanny encouraged me, to both see and experience joy in the passing of my Papa. Truthfully, during the days following, I was more confused and angered by the notion of being thankful for losing someone I adored. However in the ensuing years, because of Nanny, my understanding was stretched to believe: ‘Maybe there could be genuine joy alongside grief?’ Curiously, it was not in the joy I witnessed from Nanny, but in all places, it was her jealousy that taught me this aspect of faith.
Primarily when we think of the word jealousy, we think of it in a negative sense; a human attribute we perhaps could do without. However, biblically speaking, jealousy is different from its familiar counterparts, namely covetousness and envy. These terms always express a purely selfish greed; whereas jealousy, though implying selfishness, does not necessarily assume a negative. The Bible unapologetically refers to God (at least 10x) as a “jealous” God (Ex. 20:5), as well as a God who is “jealous” for his people (Zech. 8:2). This type of godly jealousy is what I would describe as: ‘The righteous desire to have for oneself and for one’s loved ones that which is holy and good.’ And it was this type of jealousy I witnessed and learned firsthand from Nanny.
The years following Papa’s passing, apart from the inevitable degradation of age, never slowed Nanny down. She remained full of life, equipped with a sharp mind where she continued to rigorously read, study and pray each day with a discipline that would impress a Navy Seal. Even into her nineties she regularly entertained visitors, baked bread, and taught an adult Sunday School class. Yet as full of life as she was, she would never hesitate to tell you, or anyone who asked, that she only had one true desire. The desire to go home. Or more accurately, in her words, “I am ready for Glory.” I can still recall the countless times, where she would express a sentiment such as, “If it were up to me, God would answer my prayer and welcome me home.” Nanny had this incredible way of talking about heaven, which made it so real, so wonderful, you could almost begin feeling bad for not being as anxious for heaven as she was.
It was seeing this side of Nanny, this jealous side, that ultimately helped me begin to grasp: Yes — there can be joy, even in death! Because Nanny loved Papa, and wanted the absolute best for her beloved, she had a jealousy for him that wanted to see him released from this earthly life of pain so he could be with his Lord. But more explicitly, I saw day after day, year after year, her own godly jealousy display itself with her deep longing to experience Glory for herself. What she knew Papa was experiencing, she desperately wanted too. Nanny knew she had, “fought the good fight” and the finish line of her race was in sight, making her more and more jealous to receive her promised prize, Glory!
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4
P.S. My Nanny’s favourite word for heaven was the word, “Glory”. Next week my devotional will continue to look at some of the wisdom from Nanny and consider why “Glory” may be the best way to consider what is in store for those who love the Lord and, “Long for his appearing” (2 Tim. 4:8).
Going Deeper — Probably the best way to truly appreciate Nanny’s longing for Glory, is to also know her favourite hymn, The Sands Of Time Are Sinking (Immanuel’s Land). Nanny cherished the hymn so much that with every hymn book she picked up she would search to see if it might contain a verse she had not yet discovered. I cannot remember how many verses she was finally able to collect, however, the website linked below contains 19 verses (If only Nanny had access to Google!). I have included 7 verses below to enjoy.
The Sands Of Time Are Sinking
Anne R. Cousin, 1857.
The sands of time are sinking, the dawn of Heaven breaks;
The summer morn I’ve sighed for — the fair, sweet morn awakes:
Dark, dark hath been the midnight, but dayspring is at hand,
And glory, glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.
O Christ, He is the fountain, The deep, sweet well of love!
The streams on earth I’ve tasted More deep I’ll drink above:
There to an ocean fullness His mercy doth expand,
And glory, glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.
The King there in His beauty, without a veil is seen:
It were a well spent journey, though seven deaths lay between:
The Lamb with His fair army, doth on Mount Zion stand,
And glory — glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.
I’ve wrestled on towards Heaven, against storm and wind and tide,
Now, like a weary traveler that leaneth on his guide,
Amid the shades of evening, while sinks life’s lingering sand,
I hail the glory dawning from Immanuel’s land.
Soon shall the cup of glory wash down earth’s bitterest woes,
Soon shall the desert briar break into Eden’s rose;
The curse shall change to blessing the name on earth that’s banned
Be graven on the white stone in Immanuel’s land.
O I am my Belovèd’s and my Belovèd’s mine!
He brings a poor vile sinner into His “house of wine.”
I stand upon His merit — I know no other stand,
Not e’en where glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.
They’ve summoned me before them, but there I may not come,
My Lord says “Come up hither,” my Lord says “Welcome home!”
My king, at his white throne, my presence doth command
Where glory — glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.
To read additional verses visit:
http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/s/a/n/sandtime.htm
Or to hear a recording of this hymn visit:
